i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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