IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just googled if crying burns calories
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
