Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
How does one acquire holy water?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.