she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.