well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.