Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay