i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
