Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize