final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drake has all the answers
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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