Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
