if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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