I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
