He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
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They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
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im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
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