Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
