Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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