Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
