I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize