Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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