we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
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When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
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I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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