I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
