I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
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