Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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