i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize