wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
