The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize