i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
