some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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