He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
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