When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
