The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
