i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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