with your own penis?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
