That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
