I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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