absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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