After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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