Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
