Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
