he wants to bone in the snuggie
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
