Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
