Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
