And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
