I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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