I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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