I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize