alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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