btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
