I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize