You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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