I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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