marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
