If that was your dad, he is hot
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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