Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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