Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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