just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
