I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
