Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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