I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
