Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
